Playing Dodgeball with Life… But the Bricks Are Real

A Breeder’s Story | June 10, 2025

Growth – The Setup

Ever been hit with a week so brutal it makes you question everything you’ve built? You’re not alone. Growth doesn’t show up with a bow, it shows up with bruises. 

Ready for mine?

Growth isn’t linear. It’s not just physical, emotional, or even visible and it’s definitely not something that happens Just once. It’s showing up on days when you want to disappear. It  happens again and again. When you’re a kid, again in your teens, and then all over again when life sucker punches your adult face. Then you scream to the hills, when will this (growth)end. Well…….It. Doesn’t. 

And for me, this week, growth looked like being slammed with bricks and still dragging my heart through the fire.

Whether you’re a breeder, a business owner, or a mom of three who hasn’t had a full REM cycle in years, real growth happens when s*&t  hits the fan and you still manage to clean the walls.

This week, I learned that growth sometimes looks like grief. Grieving the standard you built. The program you love. The work no one sees.

And growth isn’t pretty. It’s silent, painful, and inconvenient. But it’s also where all the good stuff is hiding.

What the F*-&* The Event

Now let’s talk about what happened… ::Sigh::

One of our females, Mazie, started delivering what should have been a standard litter. Genetically, based on her pairing, we expected 75% black/chocolate, 25% silver/charcoal. 

But something felt off.

The white markings started showing up, chest..face..even paws… Then another… Then another… I was watching these puppies arrive while spiraling down the deepest rabbit hole of English Labrador genetics I’ve ever been in.

I pulled up Embark. We reviewed genotypes like SS, ATAT, dilution factors. If you don’t speak gene codes, just know this. I went so deep down the genetics hole, I started wondering if a coyote snuck into my yard wearing a English Labrador suit.

Nothing made sense.

At one point, I genuinely considered a wild animal tie. Yes. I went that far.

Then it hit me. Like a brick from the dodgeball game life seems to think I’m playing.

Mazie was with one of our guardian families just a few days before ovulation. At the time, we still called these homes foster families. Someone I trusted had an intact male St. Bernard and had promised he was always separated during heat cycles.

And yet… here we are.

The unthinkable happened. A St. Bernard tied with my english labrador, unknowingly. No idea of this moment. Just my mind blowing up like a micro-nuke detonated. And I’m now staring at an entire litter of Lab x Saint Bernard puppies.

This wasn’t a mix-up. This was a breach of trust, of policy, and of everything I’ve worked to build.

“This wasn’t just a litter. This was a line in the sand for my policies, my program, and my boundaries.”

Reality – The Fallout

So now what?

I’m standing in the middle of a breeding program I’ve built on ethics, structure, and transparency with an accidental litter I never planned, and buyers who were expecting english labrador puppies for sale.

And here’s the worst part:

– I can’t scream like I want to.

– I can’t cry without looking “unprofessional.”

– I can’t explain the mess without scaring off my waitlist.

But I also can’t lie.

So I’m doing what no one wants to do. I’m owning it. Publicly.

We’ve issued a statement. We’re created a separate page for these puppies. They are not being sold as part of the Wild Labradors program exactly. They are being placed with love, honesty, and their own story.

Because being a breeder means facing the fire and staying in it.

That incident put the entire guardian-home model under audit. Trust would be earned again the hard way. As it should be.

Reflection – The Bigger Picture

Some breeders will read this and nod with empathy. Others will feel smug. That’s fine.

This isn’t about ego. It’s about evolution.

If you’re reading this waiting for me to rage or roast someone- I’m not. I’ve already done that in my head, and trust me. Those versions were savage.

But anger doesn’t rebuild anything. Reflection does.

This happened on my watch.

I allowed a guardian placement in a home with an intact male. I ignored the gut check. I heard the “don’t worry, he’s always separate” line too many times.

So now?

– No foster homes with intact males.

– In-heat females are in semi-quarantine. No park walks. No house visits.

– Contracts are being revised. Immediately.

Growth isn’t passive. It demands action. And this is mine.

Refinement – What Comes Next

Here’s what I know now.

Raising dogs is chaos. It’s unpredictable, messy, emotional chaos. But what you use to transition the sour and preserve the sweet? That’s your form. That’s your foundation.

Without it, you’re just floating. Or worse- you’re a turd going down the poop shoot of burnout, losing a little more joy every day. Yes, I said it.

I’m not new. I’ve been in this for over 14 years. My mother before me was a full-time breeder before I was even born. Together, we’ve become one of the most trusted English Labrador Retriever Breeders Massachusetts has to offer.

So when I tell you that this still broke me a little, I mean it.

But I’m not quitting.

This litter will be known as Yeti Litter. They’ll be raised the Wild way. They’ll go to homes that understand the story and the structure they came from.

They may be different. But they’re still sleeping belly-up. Still have their puppy noises. Still melting into arms when they’re held. And that matters, too.

But they’ll never be part of our foundation of Wild Labradors. And that’s how it should be.

To my customers

Thank you for trusting me even when the road gets bumpy.

To other breeders

Don’t let fear of judgment stop you from being honest. Transparency isn’t weakness. It’s leadership.

To myself

You’re allowed to feel this. But don’t sit in the ashes too long. You’ve got a program to rebuild. And you’re going to do it better than ever.

Just Know

Wild Labradors isn’t breaking. We’re refining. And we’re doing it out loud.

Monica Wild

Wild Labradors